I was on a bus the other day going home from school, and this grossly obese guy steps on. I mean huge. The bus tilted when he stepped on. I'm surprised the tires didn't pop. There must have been a bend where he was sitting, like in my skillful drawing below.
... I'm sure you get the picture.
He had all this stuff with him; what looked like four sleeping bags and a baby stroller. Anyway, first he's reaching up to put all these things in various spots, and as he does, his pants begin to fall down. I'm not talking your average 'plumber butt-crack'. I'm talking the whole deal. The entire thing. All of it, right down to the top of his thighs.
So, the bus takes off suddenly, and all these small, lego-like items fall out of the slightly questionable sleeping bags and spill onto the floor. Being the practical man he must have been, he took the obvious action and begun bending over to pick them up.
The entire bus is forced to bear witness to the vision before us. Nobody could look away. The infant in the chair close to him begins wailing, while it's poor mother, at least a metre away from the mans bum, tries desperately to hush it. After an excruciating period of time, he turns around to pick up some more of the odd things up, baring this titanic arse out the front of the bus. You could see the priceless expressions on peoples faces as they drove around the corner to see this massive bottom waving out the front window.
In the aftermath on this historic event, I have only one thing to say:
He must have known.
...Right?
